just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
