I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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