TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
