i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
