I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
