that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
