i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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