so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
