I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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