There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
