508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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