How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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