well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
