Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
