Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
