I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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