You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
