Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
