Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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