you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
