Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
barbara walters just said penis...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
