Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize