You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize
