is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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