We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
