I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
