I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize