Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
