I cockslap morals
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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