Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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