My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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