She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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