I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
