Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
