Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize