you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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