I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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