U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
