shes about as inviting as chlamydia
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I smell like Dick and happiness
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