If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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