I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
