3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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