You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
