I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize