I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
