Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
