Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
