Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize