Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have fence marks all over my body
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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