i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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