hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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