I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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