idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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