Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
