If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
