at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
